i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
