I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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