sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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