The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My liver just had a heart attack.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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