when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
