I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
