They should really pass out barf bags in church
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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