tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
