everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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