When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
