...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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