OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
