It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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