Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
