are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
