So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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