I wish life had little blips of pornography
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
