Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
