Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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