we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
