the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
