apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sorry about my life...
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
