Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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