The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
