Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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