you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
