i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
