I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
