I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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