I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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