Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
