I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
