so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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