Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
