So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
