so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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