She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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