I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
