I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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