Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
