Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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