it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
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