I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
