There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
