So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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