Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
