Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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