he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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