I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Blood and glitter go together right?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
