apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
